It's Not Your Fault
by BonesBird
Summary: She struggled, she fought, but the more she fought the worse she felt. Was it her fault? M/G SongFic


**Title: It's Not Your Fault  
****Summary: She struggled, she fought, but the more she fought the worse she felt. Was it her fault?**

**Lyrics: New Found Glory - It's Not Your Fault**

**Set just after Exit Wounds. PeeG is struggling with her emotions. Morgan is her saviour, as always. I'm just determined to write to this song. I promise I'll finish "Alphabet" soon, but this is what the muse wanted tonight. Nath can I please have a night with Hotch to reignite? Please? PLEASE? Huge thanks is going to Kat. Who beta-ed this for me, absolutely fantastic! Thanks so much baby girl!**

**For my girl Tish. I love you.**

_**

* * *

It was a cold California  
**__**Even in the summer  
**__**She was wrapped in a blanket by the pool**_

She laid there, curled up in the corner of her bedroom. She hadn't wanted anyone to come near her, she'd told Kevin to leave hours earlier, and since then nobody had tried to interrupt her, until now. She had heard Derek's tone on her cell 3 or 4 or more times. She hadn't been paying enough attention. He would be worried about her. She hadn't been in at all since they got back from Alaska. She knew that, eventually, she would have to leave the corner, and the blanket she was wrapped in, behind and face the world.

_**There were rapid statements  
**__**About life commitments  
**__**A sense of heat that I couldn't bear to touch  
**__**I couldn't bear it**_

"Penelope Garcia. Dammit girl, I know you're in there!" She heard him shout. She didn't make a move, she didn't have any intention of letting him know he was right. "Penelope, Lynch called me. He called me because you're catatonic." She was almost shocked into moving at that revelation. Her boyfriend and best friend hated each other. So, knowing that Kevin had called Derek made her realise how much she must have withdrawn. "I know the door is open, I'm coming in."

_**It's not your fault so please stop your crying now  
**__**It's not your fault so please stop your crying now  
**__**Please stop your crying**_

The door opened and there he was, she couldn't see him, but she knew when the door closed that her best friend was in the apartment with her. No doubt he'd find her in an instant. Sure enough, only seconds later he was stood over her. Unlike Kevin's feeble attempts to move her, Derek just picked her up and carried her, blanket and all, out to the sofa. He didn't ask her to talk, he just sat with his arms wrapped around her, letting her get used to it.

_**There was staring in seclusion  
**__**A fine tuned way of motion  
**__**A face wrapped for a suitor  
**__**The sound of hearts pumping at the same beat**_

"Derek, I don't know what to do!" She cried all of a sudden, wrapping her arms back around herself and pulling away from Derek. He didn't let her go, instead just put a hand on her shoulder. "Is there anything else I could have done?" she asked tearfully, finally turning to him.

"Like what, baby?" he replied, and tapped her nose. "You made sure he didn't die alone. With an UnSub like that, you really did the best you could."

_**Coming round the corner  
**__**In almost all directions  
**__**A sense of heat that I couldn't bear to touch  
**__**No I couldn't bear it**_

She settled back against him, accepting the support he offered, wrapping her arms round him. It made her realise that even her boyfriend turned to her best friend for support. Did that show that she was with the wrong person? Probably. She wasn't sure how to get over this, but she knew she needed the strongest people around her. She was realising that that didn't include her boyfriend. Derek listened to her fears. After a while she sat up, finally out of the foetal position she'd been sat in for much of the two days since they'd come home.

_**It's not your fault so please stop your crying now  
**__**It's not your fault so please stop your crying now  
**__**It's not your fault so please stop your crying now  
**__**It's not your fault so please stop your crying**_

"I need to change some things, Derek," she suddenly announced, an hour of silence later. She'd just sat snuggled up to him. His chin resting on her head, her cheek laid against his chest. His arms wrapped right around her, wiping the occasional tears that had fallen. "I need more good in my life."

_**It's not your fault so please stop your crying now  
**__**It's not your fault so please stop your crying now  
**__**It's not your fault so please stop your crying now**_

She leant up and kissed him gently. Not putting any pressure in it. Just letting him know how grateful she was that he'd been next to her the whole time. They sat that way for a while, before he moved round a little, then cupped her cheek and pulled her in deeper. Kissing away her pain.

_**It's not your fault  
**__**Stop crying now**_

**

* * *

**

**R.I.P My gorgeous baby niece. Here for one precious day. Loved for a lifetime. We're praying for your brother. We don't want to say goodbye to you both. **

**Can I ask you all to hope, pray and think about my nephew Ed. He has a lot to fight for.**


End file.
